My mother in law (MIL) has been living with us for nearly ten years. And I have only been married for 15. So needless to say, I had constantly been looking for ways to make it possible for my MIL to get back out and on her own. Now that her age and failing health has made that begrudgingly impossible, we have made the decision to take care of her for as long as we can. Whether that be for the next few months or the next ten years.
Living with any kind of roommate is never easy. Especially when your roommate thinks that their years of life experience trumps yours. And especially when they have "senior moments" and tell you the same damn life lesson over and over. So I've decided to do what I do best and share my stories. Not out meanness, but because in hindsight they always make me laugh. Always laugh with me, please, because if you can't relate now, you will one day.
We have a lot of parties in our house. In fact, we never need an excuse to have a get-together. It was before one such get-together that my mother in law was feeling excluded. I was doing everything, as usual; all of the cooking, all of the decorating, all of the cleaning. And what I wasn't doing myself I was doling out to the kids and the hubby. I knew that my MIL wanted to help with the cooking. Well, that wasn't going to happen. We all love her, but we do not love her cooking.
So we decided that if she wanted to be useful (and to get her out of her bedroom every once in a while) she could be in charge of the kitchen, sans cooking. So she was off to clean the dishes. We clean the dishes by hand in our house because my husband is strictly against the use of dishwashers (therefore I do not do dishes). Yes, he is crazy.
But here is the problem. I swear it takes the woman two days to finish washing one load of dishes. In her defense, I am one of those cooks that uses every spoon and pot and pan in the kitchen when I cook. But still.
So here's what happens, after dinner, she'll put all the dishes in the dish water to "soak". Her definition of "soaking" is to leave them in the sink overnight and to maybe get back to them by lunchtime the next day. Why the need for such a long soak? She says it's because I burn everything.
(VERY not true by the way. I'm an awesome amateur chef. And if I do make a sticky sauce or something I always put some water in the pan right away. So you can just take that excuse and suck it.)
We started draining the dishwater if the dishes didn't get done by the time we went to bed. Why? We noticed that leaving dirty water in the sink overnight makes the sink stink something awful. So now she's stuck with a sink full of dirty dishes every morning. So what does she do? She starts the process all over. She fills the sink up with hot, soapy water and leaves the dishes to soak till sometime in the afternoon.
Well, here's the next problem; I need the dishes to be clean so I make dinner. So I would wash the dishes I need, because now they were practically clean anyway, in time for me to make dinner. My MIL would come walking in and take over while my back was turned because I was, you know, starting dinner with my few clean dishes.
So here I am, having just washed the things I absolutely needed and my MIL is at the sink behind me finishing up the rest of them. I put down my spoon and she takes it and washes it. I set down the lid to my pot and it too disappears. Now I need to use the sink. One side is full of soapy dishes that need to be rinsed and the other is full of more that are "soaking". And MIL has stepped out for a cigarette or has gone to lie down because all this exercise is just too much for her. Dammit.
And I'm standing there with a pot of boiling pasta or potatoes or veggies or whatever that need to be drained or rinsed and now I need to do the dishes. Again.
Now I'm at the sink rinsing and putting clean dishes in the dishwasher to dry (because heaven forbid I use the dishwasher to actually wash the dishes) and in walks my MIL. "I was going to do that," she says.
I know you were. You were going to do them last night. You were going to do them this morning. And you were going to do them this afternoon. Now I'm doing them because it's dinnertime.
"Well, I didn't know what time you were going to start dinner."
I start dinner at the same time every day.
(And now I've hurt her feelings.)
"Well, I'm sorry. I'll just get out of your way." And she does.
Sigh. Unfortunately that was kind of what I needed the whole time but I also wanted the dang dishes done! Argh!
So what is my current solution?
If the dishes aren't done by the time my kids get home from school (around 3:30) I go ahead and do them. And inevitably, my MIL will walk in and say, "I was going to that." And I will say, "I know, but it's ok. I got it."
That is our new routine. And I'm still doing the damn dishes.
No comments:
Post a Comment